When Carl and I decided that we might want another baby we were "even." We had our girl and our boy. I never really imagined myself with more than 2 kids. Well, quite honestly with kids at all. I never thought I didn't want children...I was just never a big babysitter/mommy type. So, when we started talking about having another baby we were on the fence. We "practiced" by having a friend's daughter over for dinner and pretending that it was us with 3 kids. Of course...one night of dinner was a pretty scaled down version of what our life would be like with another child to love. 
In a mix of a last minute deployment for Carl (2 weeks notice) and the death of my Dad (with no notice at all) I became pregnant with Dilly. So, as far as planned surprises go, we couldn't be luckier. I spent most of the pregnancy as a single mom since Carl as in Cuba...but my kiddos treated me well and we did just fine. But I do remember bringing Dara to preschool (she was 3 1/2) with Caleb on my hip (16 months old) with my preggo belly. I could practically see the "oh my gosh is she crazy" running through the minds of the people that I encountered (lol). When I look back myself I feel the same way! Ummm...I look at the pictures and think how did we do that? Babies...they were all just babies! Plus I was still working, schlepping Dara to therapies, and keeping Caleb home while Dara was in preschool. It was a crazy time. But we survived (well...we are still only surviving but that it likely a totally different blog post)!
Nothing could ever erase the pain and sadness I feel from losing my Dad. But Dilly reminds me of him every single day. She is the red headed grandchild he always hoped for. She is so much like me in so many ways and I was his little girl up until the very day he died. And she is like him. She just says and does things that remind me that he is always with us...watching over and protecting. Even though she was only "kinda" planned I honestly feel as though this was how things were meant to be. Even if it was (and still is crazy) here in the Haven's household, our "Silly Dilly" is and was the final piece of the puzzle that makes our little family complete. I can't imagine how our life would ever be complete without her. So, Happy birthday sweet baby girl! I wish you could stay 5 forever!
