Time Flies When You Are Having Fun

Dara

For some reason I feel old. I mean...not Old Lady Old...but just kind of old.  Maybe it's because I am quickly approaching the 2nd birthday of my 40th year? Or my 11th wedding anniversary  Maybe it is that my "babies" will be 9 (HOLY COW), 7, and 5 this year!!! 

It seems like 2013 is already flying by. Yes...I know that it is only Jan 13. But when I look at the next 2-3 months I have  a vacation, 2 week long work trips, 2 local race events, and 1 girls's race weekend planned and that's not counting the kids or Carl's stuff. Since I have to plan for all of these things in advance it feels like they will approach quickly. Then it will be spring break and summer will be here in a flash! I love summer btw...so I am excited about that. But it means that sooner than I care to think of it I will have 3 children in elementary school.

Caleb

I cannot lie...I am eager to have an entire "school day" to get things accomplished. Work, training, cleaning, etc. But then in the hustle and bustle of afterschool and evening routine time will go even faster. I am suddenly feeling like I am caught in a tornado like whirlwind that will end with me having 3 grown children and I will look back and wonder where the time has gone.

Dilly

Food Fights

At the end of 2012 I started prepping the kids for some new adventures in 2013. Basically...this adventure would be with food. I guess I should back up a little.

I'm not really sure how/when my kids started eating only "kid" food. You know what I mean...noodles, hot dogs, chicken nuggets. As babies they all ate more adventurous foods. Dara and I used to share turkey cutlets and rice dinners when Carl was deployed. Caleb loved meatballs and peas (and boy could that kid eat!), and Dilly used to eat sliced avocado! I can't really complain as far as kids foods go since they eat TONS of fruits and the veggies (only raw) repertoire is expanding. But every night I make at least 3 different meals. Dilly doesn't like hot dogs, Dara won't eat noodles.

It's my own fault I guess. During deployments I never really cooked. I fed the kids "kid" food and I kind of ate whatever. Since we had several deployments kind of back to back I never really got into the habit of making them eat grown up stuff. For awhile I bribed them by telling them if they ate a bite of something I would give them a piece of candy (mother of the year...right?). That experiment worked for a few things...Caleb eats some rice, Dara likes yellow peppers and Dilly will eat pork chops. Without the candy bribe...none of them would have even tried those things.

In December we told them that we were going to make them try a bite of whatever we eat  in 2013. So far Carl is doing a juicing experiment and I am trying to eat Paleo...so now I am making even more meals (liquid included) and we aren't enforcing our "you must try one bite" rule.

I guess I should be happy with what they eat. I do my best to feed them the best of what they like...such as nitrate free all beef hot dogs and whole grain pasta. Every dinner includes fruits and veggies and Caleb and Dilly eat Greek yogurt. And I have decided to pick my battles. I'm thinking that I will have some lessons in making your own food/lunches this summer...lol. So then, at least they will be involved in the craziness of distributing different food for everyone.

Or...I can make them drink beet juice...Carl really likes that one.

2013 Here We Come!

I knew it had been a long time since I updated my blog...but I can't believe I haven't written since OCTOBER! Yikes! But here I am again...vowing to be better...to be the writer I have decided I want to be.

As I sit here and contemplate 2013 I an overwhelmed with ideas and plans. Things I want to do...changes I want to make. I am planning...and planning. So I bet you are wondering why I am not sharing all my plans...lol. Well, I have been here before. I've made plans and not followed through. So, I want to test them out first. See what I can do. And I figure it will give me lots of things to write about when they succeed.

One thing I do want to do in 2013 is keep this blog up to date. If I really want to succeed at world domination...then I must write. It's funny... because I write about 3 blog posts a day in my head. Yup...write there in my noggin. Cute things the kids say, inner most feelings and thoughts, opinions on current events...but that's where they stay. I keep them there because that is where they are safe...where I can think and not stir the pot, offend or hold back.

When I started this whole blog thing I swore I'd be 100% honest. Don't get me wrong...there's ways to be honest that are not harsh or hurtful or ignorant. But someone will always disagree. And I am not sure that I am ready to put my whole self out there to be judged or disagreed with. I am not sure that I have the grace to write in a way that will inform rather than offend. To craft my thoughts in a way  that is inherently honest and true and informative but not sappy, or blunt, or harsh, or opinionated. A smart lady always told me...once you write something down, you can't ever take it back. So, I'm working on being OK with that. OK with being true and honest, and having something written down forever and ever.

The Sunny Side of Life

I've been busy. So what...right? If I really want to become a seriously famous blogger I actually need to update my blog more than once in almost a month (and figure out how to actually get people to follow my blog...lol) so busy is no excuse. Honestly, I'm not sure I will ever be famous, but it would be cool. I mean, what mom hasn't read the story of Beyonce? Or read at least one Momastary post? It's not that I feel like I am so important that everyone will want to read my blog, like they have those, but I do hope someday that my sometimes complex, sometimes simple, and sometimes just plain silly utterings will have enough significance to make people think about...or rethink about how they feel about themselves, their kids, or their life.

So in an attempt to obtain world domination (I kid) here's my latest attempt at a complex, simple, silly uttering. The other day as I was having my morning chat with some friends in the parking lot after drop off, a friend of mine told one of the other ladies that we were chatting with that I always tried to find the positive side of things. She was right. Well, most of the time. I'm not always that person...but I do try. Sometimes its annoying...I know. And I hope I don't ever seem like I am minimalizing a situation. I am always just trying to find the sunny side. Don't get me wrong. I have had many times in my life where I just wanted to sit in my closet with the door closed and cry...to wallow in my own sadness and despair. And I have. But once I am done with that I try to find the positive side of the situation and that is what helps me get through. Do I still feel sad on the inside? Yes. Does my smile sometimes shift to tears in moments? Absolutely. But when all is said and done...I am still going to try and find the sunny side...so maybe you will too.

My reasons to smile...

 

Everybody Shares Sometimes...

"Everybody shares sometimes." This, I believe is one of Dara's favorite saying right now. She always says it when she wants to play with my Ipad. Which is often. 

If she had a choice, she would play with my Ipad or her Ipod Touch 24 hours a day. Of course I don't let  her...but her radar is always on. She can spot a phone through a jacket pocket or even  in a purse sometimes. And if you are texting or playing on your phone...she will be very interested and start to look over your shoulder...even if you are a perfect stranger.

Dara playing with her Ipod Touch 

We are trying very hard to break her of this habit...but it has been tough. If you are the "target" of her desire the impulse and urge to see or experience whatever is happening on your phone (or ipad, ipod, whatever) is much greater than the urge to follow the rules. She just wants it and that is it. One of my dear friends (Elizabeth...we love you!) said something today that made so much sense and links this behavior to the fact that Dara has PDD (NOS). Dara just says and does what everyone else WANTS to...but doesn't. For example, she didn't want to stay at the park today so she just continued to tell me that she wanted to leave. "Are we done yet?" 'Can we go home now?" "I don't want to stay here." She just blatantly speaks her mind. 

It seems funny to discuss the fact that she wants to play with an Iphone as an element of her diagnosis of PDD (NOS). I mean, it's not really...but it what that desire symbolizes. So, when she wants to know what is on your "electronic device" she will just straight up ask you if she can see it and use it. Much of this "tell it like it is" behavior is a direct result of PDD (NOS) which causes her to have an altered perspective of the the world around her and how she should act in it. 

On the other hand... it is so fun to get a glimpse into how her brain works and how she can navigate through these devices. My friend Meredith came to visit us this summer and is now the proud owner of a Hello Kitty app purchased by Dara...lol. I hope it didn't cost too much. I have the app store password protected on her touch and my Ipad...and I have to hide my password from her so she doesn't buy whatever app she chooses. This is partially because she earns apps (kind of like allowance) for good behavior and making good choices and loses them (instead of time out or some other punishment) when necessary. 

So, if she walks up behind you one day...she is just interested in what your phone has to offer...just remember she doesn't mean for her persistence to be bothersome or intrusive she is just interested. That said, don't let her uncover your password!

Never Forget

Last year Dara brought home an A-Z reader about Heroes. The "book" included vivid (even in black and white) images of firemen carrying people covered in dust down stairwells and the Twin Towers engulfed in smoke. As I looked through the book I was overwhelmed by the images and immediately decided that I would request that her teacher send home a different book for homework. The next day, there was a new book in Dara's backpack and that was that.

Did I make a mistake? Was I being over protective? Would it have been OK for my 7 year old 1st grader to  view these images and read about 9/11? I was reflecting on that this morning as I turned on the radio for the 9/11 moment of silence...just as I have every year since that awful day. I listened to the first set of names as I was driving onto the base this morning, tearful for those families and for America on that day, I reflected on how just a single moment or event can change everything that you think you might know.

I remember where I was...sitting at my desk in Ballston, Virginia. Someone came into my office and said the towers had been hit. I instantly tried to figure out what was happening but my internet was down...phone lines were jammed. Since we had no TV several of us walked down to the lobby to watch the coverage on a small black and white TV that sat in the corner of the Dry Cleaners on the first floor. We all watched, speechless, in disbelief. I checked my voicemail, there was a frantic message from my mom. She was in NY (Long Island) and was trying to see if I was OK. The Pentagon had been hit by a plane. My office was only 2 miles away...but she didn't know that for sure. I shouldn't have really even been at work that day. My grandmother had passed away just 2 days before...but I had put my bereavement leave on hold. Instead, there I was, staring in amazement, overwhelmed, and in shock.

I want my children to understand what happened that day, the impact that it had on their lives before they were even born. I want them to understand that there are people in this world that don't like us...just because we are Americans but to be proud of our country and be the best people and Americans that they can be. When will I feel like it is OK to share the events of that day with them? I don't know. Because in that same breath I want to protect them from the tragedy and the fact that there are people in this world who are just bad through and through.

Life can change in a minute. Days like September 11 remind us of that. They remind us that life is precious, that America is Beautiful and that there are many people that have and will continue to sacrifice for the truths and freedoms that we hold dear as Americans.

And even though I am not ready to share...I will never forget.

I Have to Half and it's Contagious!

If you would have told me 3 years ago that running is contagious, I would have laughed. And I mean laughed long and hard. I HATED running. Yes...it's true. Complete DISLIKE. But a friend of mine talked me into running with her (thank you Shayna!)...and soon afterwards I was actually enjoying it. I joined a gym...found a running partner who taught me SO much about running (thanks Jen!)...and finished two 5ks, an 8k, and a 1/2 marathon within my first 9 months of running (or rather...hurling myself forward by putting one foot in front of the other...lol).

Fast forward 2 years later and I've come a VERY long way! I've run several more races including several 5ks, 8ks, and 10ks, a total of 8 half marathons, 3 Have 2 Halfs (details on those later), a full marathon, and 1 sprint triathlon. I attribute this all to the contagiousness of running! Yes, it sounds crazy...but I am addicted. Even on days that I hate my run, I can't imagine not doing it. I've even placed in my age group or on a team in some races and I have a slew of 1/2 marathon medals. One of the reasons I love that distance is that you get a medal once you cross the finish line whether you are first, last, or somewhere in  between. Those shiny medals distract me.

Me, Analisa, and Ryanne, the 
ladies behind the H2H
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

So, back to the purpose of this post. Last year I joined a running club for military spouses called Stroller Warriors(TM). Admittedly, I am pretty much a strollerless warrior...since I rarely run with my children...but the group welcomed me with or without my stroller. This spring (early summer actually) two of the group's leaders came  up with the idea that they wanted to run a 1/2 marathon every month for a year. Yes. 13.1 miles once a month for a whole year. It was then that the Stroller Warrior have to Half was born.

The purpose of the H2H series is to provide a safe, familiar, supportive, and fun environment in which to run 13.1 miles while supporting a specific charity. If you complete the full 13.1 you are eligible for a Stroller Warriors H2H medal which you can buy at cost for $5.75. Then, with a minimum donation of $10.00 you receive a lapel pin from the selected charity to add to your super cool medal. There are no additional fees, the club and organizers do not make any money from the race...all proceeds go directly to charity. How amazing is that??? 

Some of us in our cool new SW medals after the Semper
Fi Fund race!
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

The series started in June. There were just under 30 racers who ran to support wounded and fallen warriors for the Semper Fi fund. We had at least 1 first time half marathoner run the race along with 2 ladies who ran beside her every step of the way to support her all the way to the finish. It was AMAZING to be there to see those ladies cross the finish line!

Liz and Me at the water station.
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

The second race in the series raised money for another SW and her efforts to raise money for the MCM. We supported Liz by running for Cure Epilepsy and her daughter Maddie. It was SO hot but once again...motivated by the finishers of the first H2H several ladies who had never ran a 1/2 marathon before took the plunge! There were also planned water stations with volunteers cheering us on with hydration and iced towels! I was lucky to be able to run with Liz who left Camp Lejune to move to Raleigh this summer. The heat was brutal but the company was great!


So...FINALLY on to the 3rd H2H in the series. I am humbled to say that this race was to support ME and my efforts to raise money for the Organization for Autism Research. I worked with the awesome race director at OAR and she provided me with medals, lapel pins, literature, race shirts, and tee shirts. Now, if you race at all...you know BLING and SWAG is very important to runners. And the H2H series is no different! People were excited about the medals and the opportunity to give back to such an amazing charity! Every day the race number climbed up a few. People were so excited (hence I was SO excited!). We had SO many newbies run this race...and a total of 54 participants overall. Everyday another Stroller Warrior was donating on my fundraising page or telling me how excited they were to run t his race. It was CRAZY and AMAZING and GREAT all at the same time. 

My OAR shirt.
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

On the day of the race I got there bright and early. Race signup and announcements commenced in the dark, but I could see the donation bucket quickly filling up. All I could say during announcements was "Thank You!" I was overcome by the generosity of the ladies in this group! Everyone was so excited for the race and for me and how much money we could raise for OAR. It was not an easy 13.1...but it was worth every step! My family was at the end to great me as I crossed the finish line and I was able to see friends and new half marathoners cross as well. It was amazing to run with such great partners and friends for something that is so near and dear to me. 


Stroller Warriors and  the H2H for Dara helped me raise MORE THAN my initial fundraising goal for the Marine Corp Marathon...now these ladies are still donating and helping me triple...maybe quadruple my goals! In addition to this amazing race and the donations that just keep coming in on my fundraising page the members of SW Camp Pendleton hosted a play date and 13.1 mile run (Thanks Patty, Mia, and Sarah!) where they collected donations and several other members have volunteered to help me by making a bib and medal holder to raffle off (thanks Nicole!) and donated proceeds from their own personal business sales (thanks Kelly!). 

I am so thankful to EVERYONE running partners, friends, colleagues, and family who have supported me during the past few years and during this adventure of MCM fundraising. You are all special and generous and THAT is CONTAGIOUS!!!

To donate please visit my donation page at http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/deanahavens/2012mcm.

OAR Bling and Swag!

Which way do we go?
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

Morning sign up.
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

 

Race support staff: Megan, Elizabeth, and Steph
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

Crystal finishing her first 1/2 marathon!
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

Carl and Dara
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

Race tat
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

Beth's water station sign.
Photo taken by Elizabeth Harlow.

Special thanks to Elizabeth Harlow for capturing these photos. And thanks again to all the racers and Stroller Warriors who volunteered to participate in this even as runners or support staff!!! I wish I had room to post pictures of each and every one of you!